Self Maintenance…EXTENDED
…It got so bad that I chose to take a step back from the relationship because I didn’t know how to make it work anymore. I didn’t know how to submit to a man. This was never taught to me and I never actually witnessed it in real life growing up. All I knew was how to be in survival mode…. Damn, I didn’t know how to put my guard down and accept help…or even love. My fiancé wasn’t perfect. He too had flaws, but they weren’t nearly as bad as I amplified them to be…I just didn’t want to be the “problem” all by myself. I wasn’t mature enough to own up to the fact that I didn’t know how to accept a positive change. I was super defensive when I didn’t have to be. Have you ever felt like someone took the most valuable thing from you? My valuable possession was my strength, independence and ability to “make it happen” on my own. He took it all away, and in exchange offered me a simpler life. I didn’t know how to accept that so I fought because me simply saying “thank you” was me letting him know I was letting my guard down, which in my head meant me backing down. I had to get my shit together and I needed to do it quickly before I lost the rarest thing I've ever had in my life…A GOOD MAN.
That process of me reprogramming myself came with a lot of alone time. I would hop in my car and take long rides while blasting my favorite R&B tracks or my Kevin Gates, because everyone knows I love a good Kevin Gates blend, lol. I had to literally get to the root of my issues and understand that only I could fix this. This man doesn’t deserve half the mess I’ve given him. It was all because I was scared. I needed to grow up and stop using my past as an excuse to block the blessings my future had to offer me. I had men do me wrong in relationships in the past but if I continued to allow that to determine the way I assessed situations in the future, progress would never be made. I learned through this journey that me being honest with myself helped me the most. Sometimes not even a conversation with your closest confidant can help you figure yourself out. NO ONE KNOWS YOU BETTER THAN YOU KNOW YOURSELF. And what I’m about to say next is important so please remember this part… ONLY YOU AND YOUR PARTNER CAN FIX AN ISSUE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!! Venting to others is cool if that’s your thing, but nothing gets the job done better than being able to verbalize to your partner exactly what you are feeling in that moment. Once I learned the power of being truthful to myself and adjusting my attitude within…everything began to work itself out. Our communication got much better, we got so much closer, I didn’t leave him hanging to figure out what I was thinking in certain moments and most importantly I FELT ACCOMPLISHED! I crossed a barrier I had never crossed before. I was able to trust that my man got this. He had proven himself a long time ago…I just thought it was too good to be true. It was me allowing my past encounters to block my future blessings. I’m so glad we were finally on the same page.
I felt so good about myself,
I’m telling you there is no greater feeling than growing up right before your own eyes! I was finally able to give this man all that he deserved! The purest form of myself…without the luggage from my past.
My skin started glowing, my smile got brighter, and I just felt like a totally new person. I legit had to revamp myself! And now that I have taught myself to be the purest form of myself for my man and my kids I make it my business to always make time for myself so I never get overwhelmed with all that life has to offer and back track to the not so great person I used to be. I find it very important to spend time with yourself often, love yourself, make time for yourself, get your hair and nails done, visit a spa or even come up with the perfect skin care regimen that works best for you and make it a in house day of pampering. Try lighting some candles and draw you a nice warm bubble bath. Grab your favorite bottle of wine, a good book and kick back. Whatever you must do to make sure you are able to recharge your batteries occasionally, DO IT. We endure a lot daily and the only way that we can be the best for those around us is if we take excellent care of ourselves first. You can’t give 100% if you aren’t 100%. Self-Maintenance is a Requirement… whether its mental, physical or emotional. Check yourself from time to time. I promise you’ll begin to unlock the next level of YOU!
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P.S. Speaking of self-maintenance, I’ve partnered with some amazing girl bosses whose business aligns perfectly, and they have a special gift for you.
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Drama isn’t the only thing that asks for receipts, show us your receipt from either of these companies and be eligible for a prize. For Christmas SHE REVAMPS will be raffling off a gift basket comprised of several self-care items. In order to participate, you must comment on this post, show us your receipt, and share the blog with your followers, be sure to tag @kings4design on IG.